Day 5 – Paying respect to the dead

I’m sorry to disappoint you all by not having any photograps from this day. Although i was allowed to take pictures i decided not to since i just didn’t feel it was the right thing to do.

The day started off pretty normal with us getting up and heading out for some breakfast. Na had told me earlier that this was the day she visited her best friends grave, to give offerings and pay her respect to her and her family. Me, Ole-G and Tommy decided to come along.  The four of us later ordered a taxi to take us the graveyard in Dalat. Na asked the taxi driver to stop by a small store on our way there. She purchased flowers, a box of biscuits, paper dollar bills, paper gold bills and incense.

The graveyard was massive, unlike anything i’ve ever seen before. The most notable thing about it was that it had both buddist and christian graves and symbols…all on the same spot. That’s something that would spark an outrage in Norway i bet. We had to climb up a small hill to get to her grave. We were the only people there, apart for what seemed to be some workers further up the hill. The grave was beautiful and quite big compared to graves in Norway. Another thing that was quite different was that a lot of graves had different and vibrant colors, and not the gray/black palette that is common back home. Na put down flowers and the box of biscuits on grave. She then lit up incense and gave to us. She told us to take a moment, while we held the incense in front of us, to whish her friend all the best in her next life (buddhism -> reincarnation). We then put the incense down on her grave.

To symbolize wealth and prosperity in the next life, Na proceeded to make a small fire. She burned the paper dollar bills and the paper gold bills. After this was done we left the gravesite. It was time to visit the family of Nas deceased friend. We picked up a large basket of fruit to bring to their house. When we got there we were greeted by the mother and welcomed in to their home. She brought us upstairs to meet her son, who was sitting in a room that had a large altar/table that was used for offerings and paying respects to the dead. It had a picture of Nas friend on it. There were large amounts of food set at the table.

How it works is…The family and friends will gather at the deceased persons home to pay respects, give offerings and eat a large meal. The food is prepared and taken to the altar as an offering to the dead person. This is because he/she is to have the oppurtunity to eat first. After a while the food is taken from the altar and put on regular dinner tables for the guests to eat.

Na put the basket of fruit on the altar. We then spent a while chatting with the brother, who was quite good at english. He was studying IT and he also had an amazing talent for drawing. He showed us everything from t-shirt design, clothing design, drawings and even a comic-strip he had created. I asked him why he was studying IT when he clearly had a passion for art & design. He said that IT was probably more safe and he wouldn’t wanna worry his mother.

After chatting for a bit we went downstairs to eat. We met other people and friends of the family. There was A LOT of food. Some funny situations occured when Ole-G tried to eat a mango. At the end of it all it was quite an experience for all of us.

Later that day we went out to eat dinner together and Nas best friend joined us. We are trying to get Ole-G to hook up with her…i think we’re getting there slowly!

Thanks for reading, and again…i apologize for no pictures.